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                                      Skyline of Seoul. Source: Seoul Skyline

Comments

  1. Hi Peter! I just took a look at your portfolio and I have to say that I am very impressed! I really liked the image that you used on the home page, however I did feel like the modern
    photography images that you used on the first story didn't really match up with the old-school art from the home page. Maybe you could see if a different image on either page would help with the flow of your site more. In regards to your writing, I feel like you did a really great job in keeping the story original enough to be understood, yet modified enough to really make it your own. I also really like your style of writing, as it was easy for me to follow along with the story and to stay engaged. I enjoyed your author's note as well because it really summed all of your text up in regards to answering some questions that readers may have. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future!

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  2. Hey there Peter,
    I just took a look at your portfolio and it is very impressive the art you used to, the front page definitely draws the reader into the Indian culture. The picture you used on “Brothers don’t fight each other” is a very good picture, but it kind of strays away of the idea that you were setting on the homepage with that opening cover page because this picture is much more modern. I think even changing jus one of those pictures to match the other would help the flow of your portfolio website greatly. You did a great job in keeping your story follow the plot of the original story but changed it enough to make it your own story. And I can tell you put a lot of effort into this story because it is easy to read. This was a great story and I look forward to reading your following stories.

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  3. Hi Peter, this is a great story! I really like how you display the fight between Vali and Sugriva, and I enjoyed the lead up to it. It was difficult to keep all three of them separate in my head when I first read the Ramayana, because they were all so related, but I think your story clears it up very well. One thing that I am curious about: you describe the opulence of the former kingdom in detail and the affects that is has on the royals, but it seems like it doesn't play a big part in the story as a whole. Is this just a lead up to another story? In addition, it might be cool to modernize the story to give us an insight into how it would play out today if Hanuman could not intervene so easily. Overall. this was a great story, and I really enjoyed it!

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  4. Hey Peter! I just want to start off by saying that I totally loved your story! The creativity and imagination that was integrated with your writing was superb! I can see you put a lot of hard work and time into your story! Keep it up! I liked your use of dialogue. It really brought the characters to life. I was able to relate even more with the characters and get into their minds. I also would like to comment on your web site page! I have to say it looks really great! Comparing mine to yours, I want to put more work into mine! I was able to easily navigate through the web page, which was very nice. However, I look forward to reading more of your stories! Good luck with the rest of your semester! It is coming close to an end! Also, have a great weekend!

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  5. Hey Peter!
    I just checked out your project, and I enjoyed reading your story “Brothers Don’t Fight Each Other.” I thought you did a very good job writing it. You included a ton of details in your story, which was nice because I was able to visualize it. Also, I liked how you kept the story kind of light hearted by describing the royals as lazy and living such a lavish life. I couldn’t imagine working for those princes, especially Vali who slayed his teachers if they offended him. In addition, I thought it was clever of you to change the story from original to where the brothers work together in ruling the kingdom instead of fighting for the power. It’s sad to see siblings fight and kill one another just to gain more power. So, I definitely liked how changed it to where the brothers make peace and rule together. Overall, great job on your story and can’t wait to read more!

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  6. Hi Peter! Dude, your portfolio looks amazing and doesn’t look too shabby by far. I could even tell by a single glance! I especially love your home page because it shows character. It was great to feel connected with your home page title and the background image because that was the main point! To capture the reader’s attention which you did an excellent job at. Your first story is awesome. I especially love the fact that you turned your story into a script which makes it more fun for the readers to read. Your title definitely grabbed my attention as well. Therefore, you did an excellent job. You created a portfolio that includes pictures for the readers to grasp their knowledge! Overall, I am glad that I have stumbled upon your portfolio, Peter. You have done an excellent job so far. Keep up the great work and have a wonderful semester!

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  7. Hi Peter! Your portfolio looks really good. I liked the descriptive pictures that you chose. Also, your story (Aid Ain't good) shook me up. The way Mr. Wong's character completely transformed through the greed was wild. I also thought the story brought up good points about the way countries aid each other. Preserving another countries culture is so important; America, for instance, sometimes tries to help other countries but ends up exporting harmful ideas about how to look at the world. This story was a good example of capitalist views infecting another culture. I also liked that in the first story, the calmer, wiser brother was chosen by the monkey god. However, how did the monkey god know Sugriva was better? Maybe you could introduce the monkey god character more and explain how he became acquainted with the story. Great job!

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  8. Hey there Peter,
    This is the second Chance I get to look at your portfolio, and just like the first time, the cover page really draws the reader into the Indian culture. This time I will be commenting on the Aid Ain’t Good story you wrote. What if when Mr. Taylor and Mr. Wong are used together, what if you go into more detail on how Mr. Taylors philanthropic man came about Mr. Wong. I was really impressed with the detail that was put into once Mr. Taylor stepped off the plane. What if at the ending When Mr. Taylor is buried alive, you go into more depth of what happened to Mr. Wong after he gained all of Mr. Taylors wealth and belongings. This was a great and riveting story! I am really looking forward to reading your stories to come later on towards the end of the semester. Good Luck!

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  9. Hello Peter, I read through your portfolio and decided to focus on your story “Aid Ain’t Good” based off of the “Jataka Tales.” Starting off reading this story, I thought it was going to be a feel good story where a farmer gets help and ends happily but man was I wrong! The ending to the story really took me for a turn and I was not expecting. It really goes to show that sometimes you can trust everyone no matter what the situation. I wonder if Mr.Wong ever became the richest man in all of China and I wonder if anyone ever questioned on where Mr. Taylor went. I thought that you wrote the story well and everything flowed nicely. I would suggest maybe getting rid of some of the space in between paragraphs because it is a little large and kind of distracting. Overall I thought the story was great, keep it up!

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  10. Hi Peter!
    The first thing I looked at while on your site is pictures. Your home page header the Aid Ain't Good story header are very low quality images. The Aid Ain't Good header is not aligned right. I would look at the images and maybe consider adjusting them. I like the images you chose so maybe finding a better version.
    As far as your stories, I really enjoyed the ending of the Aid Ain't Good story. It was not expected at all. I thought it was going one direction and then it definitely went a completely different direction.
    I liked how much dialogue you included in your first story. It made the story flow better and helped understand the characters better. The story was great and I liked how you changed the personalities and made it your own story.
    Overall, I think your site is great and good luck on the rest of it.

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  11. Your first story was really great! I liked the contrast bewteen the two brothers' personalities. Those descriptions enriched their character and set up the climax well. I really enjoyed the part where Hanuman possessed Sugriva and fought Vali. Hanuman's decision to split the crown between Sugriva and Vali definitely aligned with the elements of justice we find in various Indian Epics. I think your character development for the second story could have been a little stronger. We didn't get a taste of Mr. Wong's personality until the end. However, that ending was a great way to show us the darkness deep down in Wong's character. Nice job overall!

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